Buenos Aires is now officially...

The latinamerican Venice!

The bubble boy and the new umbrella,

Do you remember the movie with John Travolta? Well, it's back in fashion. Ladies and gentleman, I give you: "Bumbrella".

There is a sign...

Painted on a bridge that says: What do you prefer? being happy or being right?
It is some sort of artistic thing, since there is not a brand behind. Not even the name of the artist. I used to think that this was a truthful affirmation. But at this stage of my life, I am able to be happy and be right at the same time.
But I must admit that being always right annoys me. I get so tired of saying "I told you so". It's a very nasty thing to say, but I don't find anything else to replace that phrase.

As for the pronunciation of the streets,

For those of you that dears to visit the neighborhood of Islington in East London. Be aware that when you ask how to get there, it's not ISLINGTON (ailington) but ISLINGTON (Islington) as if it was in spanish.
Everyday you can learn a new thing in London.

Damn trendy hotels,

I am seated at the table of MyHotel in London. I can't believe this place. The room doesn't have a mini-bar. Its the size of a teenager room with a single bed. 12" tv.
And the room is like 230 pounds a night!
What's going on you people? Don't treat me like home, I am in a fucking expensive hotel! It's like those restaurants that say: "Eat like at home". Oh please! don't feed me like at home! (this comment does not pretend to hurt the feelings of my wife who is such excellent chef).

This only makes me miss my family more.

Fears and money,

Today I am traveling business. As many other people, I am a little bit of afraid of flying. But for some reason, when I travel business I am less afraid. It seems like the economy seats were more scary than the expensive ones.
After thinking it for a while and only based on the facts, I came to the conclusion that what I am really afraid of is to die poor.

There's no place like London!

There’s a whole in the world like a great black pit
and the vermin of the world inhabit it
and its morals aren’t worth what a pin can spit
and it goes by the name of London.
At the top of the hole sit the previlaged few
Making mock of the vermin in the lonely zoo
turning beauty to filth and greed…
I too have sailed the world and seen its wonders,
for the cruelty of men is as wonderous as Peru
but there’s no place like London!

London, wait for me! I'm coming tomorrow.

When I grow up I want to be Tim Burton,

Larry David and Carlos Bianchi,

Help me out everybody I need to put in contact Larry David and Carlos Bianchi. Will you help me? I think I can get Bianchi because he owns a restaurante not far from home.

Lenny Kravitz hospitalized in Miami,

Doctor said it was bronchitis, but it's not. He said that he hasn't had sexual relationships in the last two years. So you don't have to be a genius to know what's happening here: He is over-masturbated. You can see it on the pictures, you can hear it on his voice. It's too much Lenny, you have to stop it.

Stephen Hawking flipbook

Ugly picture but interesting thought

Kurt Westergaard is the guy in the picture. He tried to be witty and draw a cartoon of Mahoma. Today the danish authorities arrested 4 guys who were attempting to murder him. I wonder what he is publishing at the moment. I wonder if he still have any sense of humor left. And most of all, I wonder if he regrets.

Luckily for you Kurt I have a solution! Why don't you draw a couple of Jewish cartoons? Draw Moises or Jacobo, or Jerry Seinfield. We jews we are not going to be upset and you could win some friends between your enemies.

Spanish lessons for the gringos (II)

The porpouse of this section still is to teach the gringos how to speak the basic spanish needed for everyday talking in LatinAmerica.
So hang on to your seat, cause this is the second lesson for the gringos!

#1 "NECESITO UNA DIRECCION, PODRIA AYUDARME? ESTOY BUSCANDO UNA CLINICA CLANDESTINA DE IMPLANTE DE SILICONAS, ABORTOS Y CAMBIOS DE SEXO, EN LA CALLE LIBERTADOR...".

This is a highly valuable lesson. It means:

EXCUSE ME, I NEED AN ADDRESS, COULD YOU HELP? I AM LOOKING FOR A CLANDESTINE HOSPITAL FOR BOOB IMPLANTS, ABORTION, AND CHANGE OF SEX, IT'S ON LIBERTADOR ST..."

Keep enjoying your spanish lessons for everyday talking!

What happened to Silvester Stallone?

Is it the drugs? He doesn't need no make up fot the next Rocky!

The facebook trap,

I am not a big fan of facebook. But for a while I thought it was the bomb.
Now I just read that you can't quit. I mean, you want to leave and they don't delete your account, because their business is related to having more people connected.
Now even when I like to use it, I hate it as well.

It's crazy that these people who successfully interpreted peoples feelings to connect, all of the sudden they don't know anything about us.

Today I got emotional with Rocky 2,

Even when I hate Boxing, I am crazy about Rocky. And not only the first movies but the latest one as well. If they film Rocky 7,8,9 I would go without thinking.

A couple of hours after Rocky I started to think, how come there is not a great emotional movie about Football? Not just one. Heroes is fine but it is a documentary and Shaolin Soccer is humor. Hollywood should make a movie about the plane crash of the Manchester United team.

Feel like a poor southamerican,

Lately, I've been told that one of the most successful tours in Buenos Aires is the visit to "La villa". A "villa" is a place where people lives under very sad conditions, specially in terms of infrastructure. Crime is high over there, the police can't get in. It is the argentinian version of the brazilian favela. But in terms of culture, it's becoming very rich. They have their own system, their own music, they do art.
But still, when someone from the first world visits, it's like they are enjoying
the poor quality living of these people. It's like: "Come feel like a poor, do what the poor does, see how the poor lives, and the best thing of all: If you feel sad, if you feel it's enough, if you feel you want to enjoy a huge dish of argentinian meat, we will take you to your 300 us a night hotel and you can forget the whole thing, till you get to your contry and you get to tell your friends how sensitive you are by experiencing these way of living!"

Creepiest thing I've seen in a long time,

_____________________
This little puppy is the creation of a Chinese manufacturer. And it's all over the world now. When you see this puppy there is not a single difference between the toy and the real animal. I can live with that, it's just a copy of the original.
What I can't stand is the fact that they made them breath. They are breathing fake dogs. They look incredibly alive but they are not.
It's so weird. You feel sad for them even when they are not real. You need to touch them only to realize that is dead. It's so pervert.
I think it is actually more pervert than a breathing sex doll.

Bionic hand,

A friend of mine who lost his hand several years ago in an accident told me that in Spain they are launching a new hand with new technology. This technology allows him to move and control each finger of his hand, a prosthethic of course. This is all great.
The problems seems to be for him that there is a warning message by the manufacturer:
"DO NOT MANIPULATE SEXUAL ORGANISMS WITH YOUR PROSTHETHIC HAND".
This warning has completely discourage him of buying this product. He says he will wait for the version 2.0.

Not another broken english artist,

"Sensitivity" is the new "Irony"

Now the people who were suppose to be ironic are sensitive. That's a trend.
Have you seen it lately? let me know.

Vacations,

Today I got back from Holidays only to find out that all the problems that I left behind are still here waiting for me. I should have solved them before I left so I could come back fresh and clean of problems but I didn't.
The car is broken, the air conditioning is loosing too much water, the paperwork is undone. Stress is back!
How long does it takes to forget your problems on holidays? 10 days.
how long does it takes to take them back? hours.

unfair.

Paul Newman is dead,

Actually he might be alive, but according to believable information, he might be dead very soon. And since the news is going to spread very easily and fast, I would be glad of being the first in publishing this piece of vital news for the world.
Paul Newman was an outstanding actor, a great father (as far as I know) and I loved his dressings!

Anticipating the future once more, I will also inform the following deaths:
-Michael Jackson is dead.
-Rob Lowe is dead.
-MC Hammer is dead.
-Roberto Gomez Bolaños is dead.
-We are all dead.

ImprovEverywhere

This guys are creating beautiful communicational experiences. This is the latest one I think.
I would have loved to be there to see it for real. But I couldn't take part of it cause every time I try to freeze I have the urgent need of scratching my nose.

Bon Jovi is reading my blog!

He said: "Nice blog, but I wouldn't read it everyday".
I will gather more opinions from celebrities for you to realize if my blog deserves your visit or not. If you are closer to one, please put me in contact with him or her.
The manager of Woody Allen says Woody didn't see it yet. I am waiting.

Those shoes with wheels,

On my birthday number 30 I tried them on. The guy suggested:
The guy: -Just start by using just one shoe, don't use both wheels at the same time.
Me (thinking): -Are you kidding me? If kids can do it, I will know how to use them!

It was a reality check for me. I can't drive those shoes. I almost panic when I had to use them. I thought I was going to break my neck. It was a nice dream of my 20s, but it's gone.

I think I will try to play the ukulele instead. That's less dangerous.

Music of sad violins please.

ps: is it ukelele or ukilele? it's a poll!

Avril is using it!

Today's report from Google Trends says that people is crazy searching for the words:
"DOS for dummies". I'm getting it right? Why people would be searching for a book about DOS?
Is DOS the operating system that I knew?
I think it me be a new trend. A couple of kids revealing against the system by using an old operating system, the DOS. Next thing I know, Avril Lavigne is using it. Owen Wilson quits the booze to use DOS. And Urban Outfitters is selling shirts that says: DOS rules! (with old fashioned typo).
WTF?

Moleskine+Barnes and Noble

I wanted to buy a notepad for writing ideas for my blog. I went to Barnes & Noble and I've found an authentic "Moleskine". The notepad that Hemingway used. I've felt tempted but the price was over 25 dollars for a blank notepad. At least, they could have put Hemingway's notes inside.
When I was leaving I thought: this is better than winning a Nobel Prize. You are a truly successful writer when someone is so stupid to buy a blank notepad just because you wrote in one of those.

When I grow up I want to be Gondry III