A visit to waitrose,

Waitrose is one of the supermarkets of London. We went to buy toilet paper, which is usually a little embarrassing but if you buy something else that's fine. Even though we all go to the bathroom, it is still awkward to walk with a bag full of toilet paper.
The thing is, we got to that part of the supermarket and there they were: two options for us. The recycle paper, which is good for the healthiness of the planet. And the very very soft paper. We did not know which one to pick:

One of them is a pain in the ass because it's not soft.
The other one is a pain in the ass because it ruins the planet.

I won't say the decision, it's very private. But I can say that my ass is so soft tonight.

Highly expensive apart-blogger carrer,

I am staying in a highly expensive apartment. However, the broadband is not working and I got a Dial up connection. At first I thought that my career as a blogger would be ruin because of this. But wait, I thought, what career as a blogger???

Pregnant Ashley

Getting on the internet from London is a nightmare. I am in a beautiful apart hotel in South Kensington, but still, it sucks. I can't even use the Skype or watch youtube videos. The manager has just sent a letter to all the apartments asking: "please do not download heavy files anymore". Fuck the manager, why would you use broadband without downloading things?
There is another thing that changed regarding the use of internet. Some website recognize my ip address coming from London. So I am seeing more english spoken banners.
One of them said: Daily Poll: Is Ashley Simpson pregnant?

It's crazy. It's like we could influence the pregnancy or not pregnancy of a person! what kind of poll is that?

How to survive in London #1

Thursday. 3 AM. Everyone is sleeping but not us.
Surviving in London is not an easy thing to do. The first thing you need to know is:
The fruits, they sell them by unity and not weight. That's why today I've spent 5 minutes in a hard quest for getting to the biggest avocado. Only because all of them had the same price.
I will keep on posting soon.

Last goodbye party,

I just got back home from my last goodbye party before leaving Argentina. I really wasn't in the mood for party, but I wasn't sad either. I was in the mood of Nostalgia.
I couldn't stop thinking "we should throw a nostalgia party!". We should eat typical argentinian food, seeing old photo albums, remembering old stories. Why not enjoying something very argentinian that you've never liked? Or dress like gauchos.

Celebrate Nos-tal-gi-a, c'mon! (think of celebrate good times).

StarWardrobe!

George Lucas is claiming the copyright over the designs of the costume of Star Wars. The designer has been doing business on his own from this designs. Who is right? I don't know. What I do know is that this two geniuses were capable of selling this shit to thousands of freaks.
However, I am planning to use one on my next wedding anniversary ;)

One less Charlton Heston in the world,

I think we can't celebrate the death of someone. However, this guy deserves it.
I am glad he died of natural causes because this guy would have preferred to die by a bullet.

Bill Gates not looking

The magnate met the argentinian vice president whose trademark is to have a prosthetic hand. As you can tell on the picture, Bill Gates is doing an extraordinary effort thinking of "not to look at the hand, not to look at the hand, not to look at the hand". Picture talks by itself.

The creator of the word: "Bathblogging"

So I sat with my computer and my blog opened on the throne and I went like: Why don't I do a little bit of bathblogging? In that very moment I knew that I was going to be remembered, if remembered, by the invention of the word "Bathblogging".

BATHBLOGGING: The action of blogging while sited on the bath.

It's a good word, isn't? Any experience on how to add it to wikipedia? Greatly appreciate it.

And since I am talking about being remembered, I will remember Paul Arden. I would have loved to meet him.

I should probably separate that last note from the previous one but it's time to get out of here.

Meet Austin, the #1 Boca fan

He is one of the most known characters between kids nowadays. He belongs to the worldwide famous Backyardigans. Her creator, Janice Burgess, based this character on an old uncle of her. As she said on this inverview, he was Argentinian and a big fan of Boca Juniors. That's why Austin never takes the Boca shirt off.

http://www.nickjr.com/shows/backyardigans/back_meet_creatorss.jhtml

Ukelele playing brazilian prostitutes

Someone got into my blog by typing on google:
"ukulele playing brazilian prostitutes"

My interpretation of this is: there is a guy that would like to see brazilian prostitutes playing ukelele. At first I thought, this guy is a weirdo! but after a short while I thought, "well I would also like to see a brazilian prostitute playing the ukelele, it would be an extraordinary or at least unconventional show".

Anyway, I am proud that people get into my blog in search of such an extraordinary content. I am deeply sorry that I can't deliver the brazilian prostitutes playing ukelele.

How much is your blog worth?

According to this website, they can measure how much is your blog:

http://www.business-opportunities.biz/projects/how-much-is-your-blog-worth/

So, mine is only:
"Your blog, www.brokenglish.blogspot.com, is worth $564.54".

What they don't do is to pay for it. Otherwise, I would have sold it already for sure.

One funny thing to do is to see how much are other people blogs:
Your blog, www.ciegaacitas.com, is worth $89,197.32
Your blog, dispatchesfromtheisland.blogspot.com/, is worth $102,746.28
Your blog, english.martinvarsavsky.net/, is worth $279,447.30

Post your blogs results!

3 big advices

If I would have to give my child three big advices for his life, I would say:
1-Always hear your heart.
2-Trust your talent.
3-Don't forget your cellphone in a restaurant in which you didn't leave good tip. It's very awkward to get back. I wouldn't like you to live this situation.

I love you.
Papi.

"Handicap people are people you can trust"

There is two kind of discrimination. Positive and negative. Negative are the ones we all know about. Positives are a little more difficult to find out.
Here is an example of positive discrimination:
"Handicap people are people you can trust".

This is a universal truth: You don't expect a handicap to screw you. But it's so wrong as any other discrimination.

And Paul McCartney's case is a great example of this. He never expected Mills to get half his money! She doesn't have a two legs?! She can't do it.

It's been on the news lately:
The title of the song "Mister Bellamy" of Paul McCartney's new album is an anagram for "Mills Betray Me".

And the handicap girl betrayed him.

Farmers on Strike,

Crisis in Argentina are cyclic. Every couple of years you know that it's coming. Now the farmers are on strike and meat is out of stock in Supermarkets. Argentinians eat meat every day so this is a big deal.
This might be logically wrong but I think it's a fare theory: What if what makes Argentina a failure is eating meat everyday? Or something in our meat? What if we don't eat meat for a while an we come out of the perpetual crisis?
I think that this could be Argentina's best opportunity.

By the way, I am leaving in two weeks.

Moving for men, moving for woman

Every time we move we get to do some order on our things. Therefore, we open old boxes full of memories.
She found a gift from a 3 year old boyfriend, love letters from her sister, a diploma from kindergarden, all kind of beautiful stuff.
I found a collection of pictures of my self ass naked at a cementery, ass naked at the iguazu falls, ass naked with friends in cuba, ass naked in many other places.

I am planning to upload some pictures of asses to facebook. There you have the chance of identifying every ass with a name.

Invest in this plot!

It's for a porn movie.
It all starts with Richard Branson, famous Virgin owner, trying to get a new combustible. So he hires a scientist who would be the main character. This dude discovers that his semen is a wonderful combustible. So the movie is about this guy fucking almost everyone to collect his semen. But that's not it. When this goes public, the whole business around petrol crushes. Middle east countries and Usa/Europe start to fight for this guy.
And I need to work on the end, but there would probably happen an invasion from an alien planet who takes him. This aliens are all women with leather costumes and green skin.
Well, that's pretty much everything.

Would you like to invest sir Branson? anyone?

Starring the black and the blond girl from Hi-five.

I am not someone to trust,

My wife says that changing club preferences is fine for kids but when you are 20 years old you are not allow to change anymore. What can I say? I've felt in love with Boca. Their passion, their kind of players, their stadium, their history. I am so Boca that I couldn't believe that I was a River fan once.
Why not trusting someone who has made such an effort for his beloved team?

I will soon post a picture of myself naked before changing sex.

But one comment said,

A couple of days ago, it was the worst day in the history of my blog: Just 3 visitors.
I am a little proud of this failure to be honest. I keep on writing no matter what. Like the violinist of the titanic, only that I am not on the titanic and I am not violinist either.

But,

One comment said: "I had a bad day and you've made my day". 33,3% of my visitors had dramatically changed the course of their day just because of reading one post of mine.

If the statics persist on trying to make me look as a poor bastard, a walking failure incapable of being read by more than 3 persons in a day, I will keep on posting to change the lives of the readers.

Damn google analytics.

Saint-Exupéry's murderer,

A German pilot recognized yesterday to be the author of the murder of Saint-Exupéry, in the year 1944. He didn't want to kill the writer, he said he loved his books. I just wonder what went wrong: One of them wrote the little Prince, the other one read it and loved it while being a kid. How come both of them were fighting on a war?

Hoocked on acids,

Crazy Jap Singer!

London makes you feel that this is the place in which everything happens. I know this very well. I've bought a Coldplay album before anybody else in Argentina, only because I went to tower records to go picking something that it was going to be trendy. A couple of weeks ago I decided to go finding the new best band in the world. But I've only found this crazy jap singer who only knows how to scream like a modern version of Yoko.

Overheard in a bbq,

My friend's son (5 years old) says to his mother: Mom, Id like you to put on the bathroom that toilet paper with the dog. His mother goes: Sorry baby, that's too expensive. My friend: Mom wants us to use cardboard.

Couple of things to mention here:
1-This stupid marketing strategy is working on several levels. The kid thinks it's better to clean his shit with a dog.
2-The guy thinks that because of the dog drawing, it's a softer and therefore more expensive paper.
3-The mother, even if she has refused to buy it before, she has been ashamed in public. And she is feeling guilty now, ready to spend a lot of money in things that this family doesn't need.

it's a sad story. everything has been planned.

Governor I am with you,

It must be difficult for you to find free sex with that face.

New sins,

According to a new bishop at the Vaticano, there is seven new sins. And this sins are:

1. "Bioethical" violations such as birth control

2. "Morally dubious" experiments such as stem cell research

3. Drug abuse

4. Polluting the environment

5. Contributing to widening divide between rich and poor

6. Excessive wealth

7. Creating poverty

I would love to introduce some sins that are more appropriate for the time being. Just random thoughts.

8. Cumming on somebody's mouth without warning.

9. Making remix versions of rolling stones. Or other legends of rock.

10. Let your dog shit on the street. And enjoy it.

11. Send spam.

12. Masturbating with Jane Fonda exercise videos.

13. Be the pope.

Keep on posting modern sins.

Warning: Pregnant woman shouldn't watch this.

Amy Winehouse and Kate Moss together for a good cause,

They just want to save an old pub called George Tavern. I love the fact that they are not doing it because of a fucking penguin. They are signing t-shirts for their preferred pub! not for the health of the woods, for a pint in an ugly old tavern.
They are both so truthful to themselves. Can we say the same thing about politicians involved in green programs?

I am with them, at the end of the day you can't drink a whale with your friends. Just leave the whale and save the pub.

Date Scarlett Johansson!

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Today I met Francis Ford Coppola,

I was leaving the restaurant and he was getting in. We looked at each other on the stairs. I did like a small movement with my head, like saying: Hey, how you doing? I know you. And he did the same thing. But his movement, even tough it was the same, it might meant something different, like: "another stupid fan that thinks he knows me".
I just didn't know what to do.

Changing subjects: Is it true that the NY city gov pays Kevin Bacon to go walking the streets, talking to tourist?

Nicole Kidman and George Clooney,

Yesterday, I saw the movie called "Michael Clayton" which was really good by the way. But I am still impressed with the titles at the end. George Clooney gets into a taxi and ask the driver to just drive, and we see Clooney thinking and watching through the window. And this shot lasts like 3 minutes without cutting. George Clooney does a great job trying to make you feel things without actually doing anything.
But this had happened before with the resurrection movie starring Nicole Kidman. She goes to the theater after receiving the news that her husband has resurrected in a kid, and you can see a shot that probably lasts longer and it's actually much better. The scene is much better because there is a much complicated plot to be tell, it's the moment in which she realizes what's going on and she cries. And Nicole performs better because she has a clear action rather than "travel in a taxi cab thinking about what just happened".
So Nicole Kidman and George Clooney are both great actors.
But taking these two actors and producing a movie is still not enough.
In 1997, they shot together "the peacemaker". Crappy movie.