3/31/2008

3 big advices

If I would have to give my child three big advices for his life, I would say:
1-Always hear your heart.
2-Trust your talent.
3-Don't forget your cellphone in a restaurant in which you didn't leave good tip. It's very awkward to get back. I wouldn't like you to live this situation.

I love you.
Papi.

3/30/2008

"Handicap people are people you can trust"


There is two kind of discrimination. Positive and negative. Negative are the ones we all know about. Positives are a little more difficult to find out.
Here is an example of positive discrimination:
"Handicap people are people you can trust".

This is a universal truth: You don't expect a handicap to screw you. But it's so wrong as any other discrimination.

And Paul McCartney's case is a great example of this. He never expected Mills to get half his money! She doesn't have a two legs?! She can't do it.

It's been on the news lately:
The title of the song "Mister Bellamy" of Paul McCartney's new album is an anagram for "Mills Betray Me".

And the handicap girl betrayed him.

Farmers on Strike,

Crisis in Argentina are cyclic. Every couple of years you know that it's coming. Now the farmers are on strike and meat is out of stock in Supermarkets. Argentinians eat meat every day so this is a big deal.
This might be logically wrong but I think it's a fare theory: What if what makes Argentina a failure is eating meat everyday? Or something in our meat? What if we don't eat meat for a while an we come out of the perpetual crisis?
I think that this could be Argentina's best opportunity.

By the way, I am leaving in two weeks.

3/24/2008

Moving for men, moving for woman

Every time we move we get to do some order on our things. Therefore, we open old boxes full of memories.
She found a gift from a 3 year old boyfriend, love letters from her sister, a diploma from kindergarden, all kind of beautiful stuff.
I found a collection of pictures of my self ass naked at a cementery, ass naked at the iguazu falls, ass naked with friends in cuba, ass naked in many other places.

I am planning to upload some pictures of asses to facebook. There you have the chance of identifying every ass with a name.

3/22/2008

Invest in this plot!

It's for a porn movie.
It all starts with Richard Branson, famous Virgin owner, trying to get a new combustible. So he hires a scientist who would be the main character. This dude discovers that his semen is a wonderful combustible. So the movie is about this guy fucking almost everyone to collect his semen. But that's not it. When this goes public, the whole business around petrol crushes. Middle east countries and Usa/Europe start to fight for this guy.
And I need to work on the end, but there would probably happen an invasion from an alien planet who takes him. This aliens are all women with leather costumes and green skin.
Well, that's pretty much everything.

Would you like to invest sir Branson? anyone?

Starring the black and the blond girl from Hi-five.

3/17/2008

I am not someone to trust,

My wife says that changing club preferences is fine for kids but when you are 20 years old you are not allow to change anymore. What can I say? I've felt in love with Boca. Their passion, their kind of players, their stadium, their history. I am so Boca that I couldn't believe that I was a River fan once.
Why not trusting someone who has made such an effort for his beloved team?

I will soon post a picture of myself naked before changing sex.

But one comment said,

A couple of days ago, it was the worst day in the history of my blog: Just 3 visitors.
I am a little proud of this failure to be honest. I keep on writing no matter what. Like the violinist of the titanic, only that I am not on the titanic and I am not violinist either.

But,

One comment said: "I had a bad day and you've made my day". 33,3% of my visitors had dramatically changed the course of their day just because of reading one post of mine.

If the statics persist on trying to make me look as a poor bastard, a walking failure incapable of being read by more than 3 persons in a day, I will keep on posting to change the lives of the readers.

Damn google analytics.

3/16/2008

Saint-Exupéry's murderer,

A German pilot recognized yesterday to be the author of the murder of Saint-Exupéry, in the year 1944. He didn't want to kill the writer, he said he loved his books. I just wonder what went wrong: One of them wrote the little Prince, the other one read it and loved it while being a kid. How come both of them were fighting on a war?

Hoocked on acids,

3/15/2008

Crazy Jap Singer!

London makes you feel that this is the place in which everything happens. I know this very well. I've bought a Coldplay album before anybody else in Argentina, only because I went to tower records to go picking something that it was going to be trendy. A couple of weeks ago I decided to go finding the new best band in the world. But I've only found this crazy jap singer who only knows how to scream like a modern version of Yoko.

Overheard in a bbq,

My friend's son (5 years old) says to his mother: Mom, Id like you to put on the bathroom that toilet paper with the dog. His mother goes: Sorry baby, that's too expensive. My friend: Mom wants us to use cardboard.

Couple of things to mention here:
1-This stupid marketing strategy is working on several levels. The kid thinks it's better to clean his shit with a dog.
2-The guy thinks that because of the dog drawing, it's a softer and therefore more expensive paper.
3-The mother, even if she has refused to buy it before, she has been ashamed in public. And she is feeling guilty now, ready to spend a lot of money in things that this family doesn't need.

it's a sad story. everything has been planned.

Governor I am with you,


It must be difficult for you to find free sex with that face.

New sins,

According to a new bishop at the Vaticano, there is seven new sins. And this sins are:

1. "Bioethical" violations such as birth control

2. "Morally dubious" experiments such as stem cell research

3. Drug abuse

4. Polluting the environment

5. Contributing to widening divide between rich and poor

6. Excessive wealth

7. Creating poverty

I would love to introduce some sins that are more appropriate for the time being. Just random thoughts.

8. Cumming on somebody's mouth without warning.

9. Making remix versions of rolling stones. Or other legends of rock.

10. Let your dog shit on the street. And enjoy it.

11. Send spam.

12. Masturbating with Jane Fonda exercise videos.

13. Be the pope.

Keep on posting modern sins.

3/09/2008

Warning: Pregnant woman shouldn't watch this.

3/07/2008

Amy Winehouse and Kate Moss together for a good cause,

They just want to save an old pub called George Tavern. I love the fact that they are not doing it because of a fucking penguin. They are signing t-shirts for their preferred pub! not for the health of the woods, for a pint in an ugly old tavern.
They are both so truthful to themselves. Can we say the same thing about politicians involved in green programs?

I am with them, at the end of the day you can't drink a whale with your friends. Just leave the whale and save the pub.

3/04/2008

Date Scarlett Johansson!

So, as you might know, Scarlett Johansson is offering a date with her on E-bay. Last bet I've seen: 13.500 u$s. It's not that high, but we are not even close to the end of the bet.
I've been doing some estimations on this number. My analysis tells me that today:
Scarlett's kiss is 25.000 u$s.
Scarlett's kiss with tongue is 35.000 u$s.
Scarlett's blowjob is 100.000 u$s.

hey, don't judge Scarlett about this, she's helping a foundation.

3/03/2008

Today I met Francis Ford Coppola,

I was leaving the restaurant and he was getting in. We looked at each other on the stairs. I did like a small movement with my head, like saying: Hey, how you doing? I know you. And he did the same thing. But his movement, even tough it was the same, it might meant something different, like: "another stupid fan that thinks he knows me".
I just didn't know what to do.

Changing subjects: Is it true that the NY city gov pays Kevin Bacon to go walking the streets, talking to tourist?

3/02/2008

Nicole Kidman and George Clooney,

Yesterday, I saw the movie called "Michael Clayton" which was really good by the way. But I am still impressed with the titles at the end. George Clooney gets into a taxi and ask the driver to just drive, and we see Clooney thinking and watching through the window. And this shot lasts like 3 minutes without cutting. George Clooney does a great job trying to make you feel things without actually doing anything.
But this had happened before with the resurrection movie starring Nicole Kidman. She goes to the theater after receiving the news that her husband has resurrected in a kid, and you can see a shot that probably lasts longer and it's actually much better. The scene is much better because there is a much complicated plot to be tell, it's the moment in which she realizes what's going on and she cries. And Nicole performs better because she has a clear action rather than "travel in a taxi cab thinking about what just happened".
So Nicole Kidman and George Clooney are both great actors.
But taking these two actors and producing a movie is still not enough.
In 1997, they shot together "the peacemaker". Crappy movie.